Dialogues with spammers

[Caution, this post contains asterisks and interior design]

The ‘guest post request’ spam continues to flood in (see here and here). 6 or 7 a day. Usually it goes straight into the trash but sometimes…

Hello,

I would love to send you an article with law/legal content written from one of my authors for your blog nearlylegal.co.uk. All your guidelines for quality and unique content will be covered.

I will need to include just one do follow backlink somewhere within the content or at the bio section in a natural anchor text. Is it possible to publish the content within 24 hours?

Hope you will accept my article for a review!

Kind Regards,
Boris Dzhingarov

I was not in a good mood. I did swearing, without asterisks. Admittedly it was in the voice of Joyce Grenfell.

Oh do f**k off, you worthless spammer.

But Boris was not one to take a hint

I am not f**king off. My client is ready to pay 30$, are you happy with this?

Oooh, there is money involved!

So, now we have established not just that you think I am for sale, but that you think I am cheap as well.

I still think that you f**king off would be a good idea.

Boris might have trouble with things like principles, but thinks he knows an argument about price when he sees it.

Wow! Calm down, dude! Nothing personal, just trying to fit in a client’s budget.
Suggest a price then?

Well, if we are going to discuss payment terms…

Boris

A pony*. But only if it is a well behaved one.

[*A small homage to Popehat, scourge of the legal blog spammers]

Boris is still considering his counter-offer.

Then there are proposals that open a whole new range of possibilities for the blog.

Hi,
I’m part of the digital marketing team at [link to an estate agent in Bolton deleted] as you can see from our website, we are also passionate about all things property related!
I am emailing you because I would be interested in guest posting for you. Are you accepting guest articles at this moment in time? I would love to write an article for your site if possible? I have a few ideas that may be suitable for your site centred around property and interior design. I could come up with something bespoke or perhaps, if you’d prefer, you could suggest a title for me?
I think it would really interest your readers and they would be able to relate to the article being fellow home enthusiasts!
Please let me know what you think. I look forward to hearing from you.
Thanks,

Rachel

The light dawns, new vistas open..

Hi Rachel

As you know, our website specialises in housing law, particularly around possession, eviction and homelessness. I must confess that, rather shortsightedly, we hadn’t thought of the interior design angle. I’m quite excited by the idea. I’m sure that pieces like ‘how to turn your B&B emergency accommodation into a boho luxe studio’ or ‘easy steps to make your friend’s sofa into a romantic boudoir’ would be very popular. We might even make it a regular column, ‘Beautiful decorative features that you can take from home to homelessness’ perhaps.

In the meantime, could you take a look at our requirements for guest posts, in the second paragraph here
http://nearlylegal.co.uk/about-2/

Regards

NL

If Rachel meets our bespoke requirements, I’ll let you know.

About Nearly Legal

NL is the former soubriquet of the founder of the blog. NL Redux is the author of certain kinds of, non-housing related, posts...
Posted in Various (non-housing).

4 Comments

  1. Quality!

    Thank you for a great chuckle. I wonder, do you type with your tongue firmly in your cheek when responding to such requests?

    Many thanks,

    Craig

  2. whilst laughing too much my coffee was successfuly spat all over my keyboard whilst reading your latest witty bon mot to the spammer re interior design….. keep up the funnies….

Leave a Reply (We can't offer advice on individual issues)

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.