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Obvious filler 5


Time for another in the intermittent series of startling insights into human life afforded by the search terms that somehow brought people to this blog. Also known as a lazy post on a Saturday night.

By the way, the campaign to make Nearly Legal the blog of choice for anyone searching for ‘Sally Field naked’, which I started in October 2006, has had remarkable success, given that I haven’t actually done anything at all. I am humbled to find that Nearly Legal is now the fifth link on the first page of Google’s results. Hell, people pay good money for that kind of placement. And the eager searchers do arrive en masse, 52 in August alone, making ‘Sally Field naked’ the third most popular search term for visitors. I’m sure Ms Field will be pleased to know that she has such a large, if overly inquisitive, group of admirers.

Of course, plenty of the other flotsam of human desire washes up on Nearly Legal

images of women stripped to the waist
legality of spanking in bc
sian lloyd naked
sex puzzles

As does rage, sometimes strong enough to interfere with spelling

trespasers will be shot
legality of baton ownership
legal revenge

and the inevitable come-down

feeling bad because of in laws

Not that law is exempt from the mess of our behaviours and bewilderments….

fake person calling city law firms for advice

Are they paying their bills? That’s the important question, surely.
Other people have clearly been sold a pup

buying kitten law misrepresentation

or are looking to the law to justify their meanness of spirit

is it law to leave a tip
legal contract wiggle room

or their uncouthness

english law can you spit in public

Naturally, this being England, problems with neighbours and acquaintances loom large

my next door neighbours are seeking a judicial review?

which will be that bloody Lleylandii hedge again. Next, the quiet english village sees a spate of poison pen letters…

am i committing libel by writing to one individual

Other searchers seem destined to a short legal career themselves. Faced with

what does dx mean in legal speak

one suspects that summer job in the law firm will not be a success. Others suffer less from ignorance and more from, cough, carelessness

i am a trainee soilcitor and caught without a train ticket

Oh dear.

Then there are the search terms that are plain mystifying.

legal assault by placebo

Assault by a harmless, effectless substitute? Tricky to prove, I’d have thought. On the other hand

swallowing sulphur

What? You want instructions? Or worse, this person just had swallowed sulphur and thought maybe they’d sit down at their computer and just have a look at what the effects might be. I hope they found out before the burning and diahorrea kicked in.

Ah, the internet. All human existence from ejaculation to evacuation is out there. But quite why they came here is less than clear.

Giles Peaker is a solicitor and partner in the Housing and Public Law team at Anthony Gold Solicitors in South London. You can find him on Linkedin and on Twitter. Known as NL round these parts.


  1. lawminx

    Good GRIEF, NL, your visitors are FAR more wierd than mine!
    A Random Trawl through my site meter reveals the following:
    Gents Suits.
    19 Stone Brides.
    How Rotten is the BVC?
    Pupillage “Good Enough” (????)
    Business Law Undecided Cases ( what do I know about Business Law, for heavens sake?!?!)
    Arrogant People. ( eew. I came top of the search!!!)
    Pictures of Mink.
    All rather boring, aren’t they? Perhaps I should take a tip from you and put something like ” Nearly Legal Nude” somewhere in my blog and see what happens next…..

  2. contact

    I think a mistake on my part, aside from the site name of course, was to include the words: woman; mature; spanking; kitten; young and sex, separately scattered across different posts. It brings in entirely the wrong sort of searcher. But luckily they are unlikely to complain or indeed come back, so I can make mock freely.


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